Grim faces cover a secret mission


And it’s on! Col Shephard, our gambler from Yamba and George “Form Guide” Zivkovic of Northmead, both lined up to take a crack at Don McKeowen’s hypothetical odds (C8). From Col: “Don assumed that at least 8 runners contested the race. Barring a late scratching, if there were fewer than 8 runners the ‘lady’ (hey, there’s another assumption), won’t get a brass razoo for third place, dead-heat or otherwise.” George, however, actually did the calculations. The result? “Assuming that a bookmaker would accept a sixpence each-way bet from a lady … perhaps a penny or a half-penny?”

While admitting that working with numbers has never been his long suit, James Laukka of Epping “can calculate in quick time, and with confidence, that the dividend payable (C8) would be precisely 1/2 of 5/8’s of bugger all. At those odds, the advice from this mug punter would be to place your each-way bet on another horse.”

Brian Kidd of Mount Waverley (Vic) offers an additional observation to Allan Gibson’s remark about models’ expressionless faces (C8). “I suggest that most models do not strut but stomp from their hips so forcibly as they walk that hip problems in later years are inevitable.” And Peter Miniutti of Ashbury asks: “Would you smile, Allan, if all you had for lunch was a lettuce leaf without an ale or wine to wash it down?”

Anne Cook of Ermington sees another perspective. “The sole purpose of models on the catwalk (C8) is to display the garments, not draw attention to themselves. An attractive model with a smile on her face and a more stylish gait could influence buyers.” So in a way, having grim-faced models not make the clothes they’re wearing look desirable enough to buy is aiding in the reduction of the obscene amount of “fashion” that is being sent to landfill after each and every season? Well played, fashion world!

And another contribution to fashion sustainability. “I was pleased to see Boris Johnson’s wife hired her wedding dress,” writes Barbra Ryan of Caringbah. “I don’t see the point in spending a lot of money on a dress you will probably only wear two or three times.” Well, it was Boris’s third time in his wedding suit after all …

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A tale of “crackers, nackers and smackers” is how Warren Menteith of Nyatnyatan (Bali) titled this contribution. “My bum still smarts from when I dropped a Tom Thumb (C8) in Dad’s trouser pocket.”

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